Five Lessons That Helped me Stay Well This Year

Every year teaches you something if you slow down long enough to notice it.

The past twelve months have stretched me, steadied me, and surprised me. They took me through busy seasons at work, long flights, family milestones, study deadlines, and moments where I had to stop and ask myself what I actually needed. Looking back, the most valuable lessons were not dramatic breakthroughs. They were small shifts and quiet realignments that changed how I moved through each day.

Here are five things I learned this year that may help others who are working hard, caring for people, and trying to stay well while doing good work.

1. Small changes make the biggest difference

I used to drift toward all-or-nothing thinking. If I couldn’t reset my routines or rewrite my calendar, I would wait for a better week. This year taught me that wellbeing grows through steady micro changes, not heroic reinventions.

One morning in Sydney, I took a ten minute walk before opening my laptop. It felt small, but it changed the tone of the whole day. That pattern held: water before coffee, a quick desk reset each afternoon, saying no to one extra meeting. None of these were big, but together they gave me traction.

Small changes compound. Start where you are.

2. Rest is a discipline, not a reward

It’s easy to treat rest as something you earn, rather than something you need. Whenever workloads rose, rest was the first thing I compromised. Each time I pushed through tiredness, my thinking fogged and my patience dropped.

Rest shows up in different forms. Sometimes I needed sleep. Sometimes I needed to swim or stretch. Other days I needed ten quiet minutes with a coffee. After teaching in the heat one afternoon, I lay down instead of pushing on. That small pause changed the whole evening.

Protecting your energy is responsible, not indulgent.

3. Flourishing is relational

Healthy relationships don’t need maintaining, they need tending. Maintenance feels mechanical. Tending is about presence, attention, and small signs of care.

Short check-ins mattered more this year than long catch-ups that never happened. Sending a quick message when someone crossed my mind strengthened connections more than waiting for the perfect moment. Being fully present for even a few minutes grounded me more than long stretches of half-attention. Reach out first. Relationships grow through noticing.

4. Pay attention to your early warning signs

Everyone has signals that things are out of balance. Mine were irritability, rushing, and losing interest in things that normally energise me. Ignoring them never ended well.

One week I found myself snapping at small things. It was a clear sign I needed to pause and reset. When I paid attention early, the fixes were simple. One boundary, one honest conversation, or one hour of rest was often enough.

Your body and mind rarely shout at you first. They whisper. Listen early.

5. Purpose grows through people, not just goals

This year I noticed how much purpose is shaped by the people who walk beside you. A friend whose perspective I trust asked the right questions at the right moments, helping me see my work from a wider angle. Those conversations nudged me back toward what mattered whenever things felt scattered.

Purpose doesn’t need to be dramatic. It might be wanting to help others grow, provide for your family, or bring more calm into your work. But having someone in your life who believes in your capacity can steady you more than any plan or productivity system.

Purpose works like a compass, but the right people help you read it.

What stayed with me most clearly

• Small changes compound over time.

• Rest supports clarity and good decisions.

• Relationships need tending, not perfection.

• Early warning signs are invitations to reset.

• Purpose is strengthened by the people who shape us.

If this year taught me anything, it’s that wellbeing is a daily practice shaped by attention and small acts of care. What small shift could you make this week? What would help you feel more like yourself again?

Thanks for reading. I hope something here supports your own wellbeing in the year ahead.

About the Author

Andrew Murray is an educational consultant, coach, and researcher specialising in leadership, well-being, and flourishing in schools across New Zealand and Australia. With more than thirty years’ experience in education as a teacher and principal he now helps leaders and organisations build healthy, high-performing cultures through coaching, workshops, and practical tools grounded in research and theology.

He also lectures at the Broken Bay Institute and the Australian Catholic University and hosts the Well.I.Am podcast. As a PhD candidate at ACU, his research focuses on the flourishing and well-being of Catholic primary school leaders in Aotearoa New Zealand.

Andrew’s forthcoming book, Faith, Flourishing, and Well-being, draws together his experience, research, and personal journey, including recovery from Long COVID. He enjoys reading, swimming, running, fantasy basketball, and good coffee with family and friends.